Surrogacy – Your Body, My Baby

Posted on: April 13th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Since childhood, many of us grow up with the aspirations and hopes of starting a family of our own one-day. Whether you are in an LGBTQ relationship, must face your infertility, or are taking an alternative path to parenthood – you may have a few concerns when it comes to surrogacy.

 

About Surrogacy

Surrogacy is a big commitment. Not only for the surrogate mother but also for the intended parents. As a surrogate mother, you are committing to carrying a child for another couple who is unable to have a child of their own. When a woman signs the agreement to become a surrogate, she is doing so with the intention of passing along the child she is carrying to another couple, after the nine month pregnancy period.

Emotional Attachment

In surrogacy, just like any pregnancy, an emotional bond will be formed. Surrogates carry a baby in their womb for nine months, so it is inevitable that the surrogate mother may develop some level of attachment. From feeling the baby’s movement and witnessing its development, there is really no denying the special bond that these women share with the baby they are carrying inside of them, during this period. Especially in the case of traditional surrogacy, there is a much stronger bond with the baby since the surrogate shares a biological bond as well. However, regardless of the undeniable bond that is formed, the surrogate must always remember the whole purpose of their decision to become a surrogate – to help another couple have a family of their own.

Intended Parents’ Fear

Many intended parents may be skeptical of using surrogacy to grow their family. Many of these couples fear that the woman carrying their child for this nine-month period may change her mind and decide she no longer wants to give the baby up, and will leave and raise the child as their own.

Change of Mind

These women tend to feel a strong sense of attachment, especially after spending so much time with the baby. They may feel as if they have the right to keep the child. Going through the hardships of bearing a child for almost a year, some surrogates feel that they are actually deserving of the baby. Regardless of any biological connection, by law, a woman is technically referred to as a child’s mother if she has carried the baby since conception. There have been a few cases in which a surrogate mother has changed her mind and has made the decision to instead keep the child as her own. Although unfortunate, after sometime during the pregnancy, the surrogate mother may come to the realization that she eventually must hand over the baby to be raised by another couple. They may become overwhelmed with a wave of emotions, which can oftentimes result in anger, sadness, and confusion.

Attachment to the Family

As mentioned earlier, during the nine months of gestation, there is no doubt that the biological mother begins to bond with and becomes emotionally attached to the baby that is growing inside of her. In a surrogacy relationship, chances are that the surrogate is not the only person, other than the intended parents, who are invested in the pregnancy. The surrogate mother may be in a committed relationship, have a husband or partner, and children of her own. This means that these individuals in the lives of the surrogate are also likely to find themselves becoming emotionally attached to the baby. Although love and support are required in a surrogacy agreement, emotional attachment from family members and loved ones can also cause the enforcement of the agreement to be even more difficult and challenging to accept.

Feelings and the Law

Surrogacy is not equally enforceable in all states. This can mean that more problems can arise if the surrogate has the legal option to keep the baby. Depending where you live, this can mean that intended parents have no legal right to claim the baby as their own. Ultimately, this can complicate the decision making process, especially for a surrogate who can no longer bear the thought of giving up the child.

Relationship Between Surrogates and Intended Parents

When you enter into a surrogacy agreement, it becomes a mutual partnership. Surrogate mothers do not have to go through this experience alone. They work alongside the intended parents, and a relationship is often formed. Finally being able to hand over the baby is not only the beginning of a new extended family, it can also be the beginning of a new friendship. In many instances, intended parents choose to have a relationship with their surrogate following the pregnancy, in which they have an open line of communication. From phone calls to letters, pictures to occasional visits, depending on the status of your relationship with your surrogate this may be something you want to consider.

About Simple Surrogacy

At Simple Surrogacy, we completely understand and relate to your longing to become parents. As women, and a 95% female stuff, we can definitely relate to the journey and experience in having a baby that no man can fully understand. We understand your concerns about surrogacy from an insider’s perspective, and we want to make your experience as easy and wonderful as possible! Making the decision to resort to surrogacy can be long and difficult. We know how stressful and confusing the surrogacy process can be, and it is our goal as an agency to make the entire thing simple.

Why We Are Different

What makes Simple Surrogacy different from other agencies is the Texas Advantage. Being located in the state of Texas allows us to offer many different advantages to our clientele, with the foremost advantage being cost. Moreover, Texas laws hold that the donating party, in this case the surrogate, automatically gives up all the rights and obligations to any future created child from their genetic material, and with this there is no need for any court validation or any additional adoption procedures to occur. This means that once a child is born from surrogacy, the surrogate releases all rights and obligations as their parent and must hand over the child to the intended parents once the birth occurs.

What Happens If Your Surrogate Changes Her Mind

Unfortunately, there are rare situations in which the surrogate changes her mind before the contracts are actually signed. At Simple Surrogacy, we conduct an intense screening process to reduce the chances of this from occurring. However, if this happens to you, we will re-match you immediately at no additional charge.

How We Prevent Instances of This From Occurring

At Simple Surrogacy, in order to become a surrogate, a woman must go through a list of requirements to ensure she is fully qualified. Not only must she go through screening, a background check, and a medical review, she must also make sure she is old enough to legally enter into a contract and can fully understand the terms and conditions of the agreement. We also require surrogate prospects to have had given birth to a child of their own and that they pass a vigorous psychological screening.

 

Bringing a child into the world for someone else is an experience that cannot compare to anything else. It is an indescribable feeling to help others start a family. At Simple Surrogacy, we’ll help you fulfil your dreams of parenthood. If you are looking to start a family of your own through surrogacy, contact us toll-free at 1-866-41-SURRO or visit our website to learn more about surrogacy and what the process entails today!

 

Writing your Egg Donor Goodwill Message

Posted on: March 30th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

If you have made the decision to become an egg donor, you most likely have chosen to do so based on your strong feelings of empathy for parents longing to start a family. Besides the donating portion of the process, when you register to become an egg donor you will be required to give information on yourself, including a personal description and a goodwill message.

 

What’s the purpose of a goodwill message?

The purpose of a goodwill message is to let the child who was born from your donation, get to know you on a personal level. When the donor conceived child turns 16 they can ask for non-identifying information about you, the donor, and once they turn 18 they can ask for identifying information, which includes the goodwill message.

How to write a goodwill message?

Finding the words and knowing where to begin can be difficult. You’re creating a message for a young adult, who you have never met, but have had a great influence on. Put yourself in the teenager’s position, what would they want to know about you? They most likely want to get a feel for who you are rather than just facts on you.

What to put in a goodwill message?

Keep in mind that you want to keep your message honest. This is your chance to introduce yourself. The goal is to convey a sense of you as a person. Share your story of why you decided to become an egg donor, explain to them how grateful you are to have been part of this journey, and how amazing it was to have the chance to help a couple realize their dream of becoming parents.

How personal to make the goodwill message?

If you wish you can also include comments about your personality traits or DNA features to really describe your identity and personality. At the end of the day, it is ultimately your choice of how much information you would like to share, whether your message is short and sweet, long and detailed, put the effort in making your goodwill message meaningful, helpful and inspiring. The teenager reading your message will feel fulfilled and grateful.

 

If you have any questions about becoming an egg donor, or writing a goodwill message, don’t hesitate to contact the experts! Our team at Simple Surrogacy will be happy to answer your questions and get you started on your egg donation journey.

Surprising Facts About Egg Donors

Posted on: March 28th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Are you thinking of becoming an egg donor? If you are considering egg donation as an alternative path to parenthood, check out these interesting facts about egg donors.

 

Egg Donors Are Young

When it comes to egg donation, donors are typically young. Donor eggs reduce the number of potential complications that are often found in pregnancy as women age. At Simple Donations, we request that donors be between the ages of 21-30. We enforce a minimum age limit to ensure healthy fertility. In addition, by the age of 21 women are entitled to legally enter into a contract. At this age, women understand more in terms of the level of commitment and responsibility that they are undertaking.

 

Level of Commitment

Compared to sperm donation, where a donation can happen quickly, egg donation is a long time commitment. Women don’t possess thousands of eggs, which can be freely given at any point and time. They must prepare themselves physically – meaning that they must take medication for a period of six to eight weeks. In addition, in order to stimulate egg development, a donor is required to take hormones and they must be willing to abstain from intercourse during the egg donation process – typically one month.

 

The Child Will Most Likely Never Meet Their Egg Donor

Moreover, it is uncommon for Intended Parents to request meeting their egg donor. Individuals who make the decision to donate their eggs usually are young women who hope to have their own children one day. Similar to donating blood, when it comes to becoming an egg donor, women donate because they are happy to help those in need and are willing to forgo any feelings of kinship attached to their donation.

 

Helps a Large Range of Women Become Mothers

Lastly, did you know that the decision to embark on egg donation helps thousands of women in the world who are unable to conceive on their own? Each day millions of women find out that they must face the reality of their infertility. It takes a kind and selfless individual to help another couple start a family of their own.

 

If you’re contemplating pursuing egg donation or know someone who is, make sure to read more about the subject. If you are considering fulfilling your dreams of parenthood through egg donation, contact Simple Donations today to get started and to learn more about what the process entails.

How a Doula can Provide Additional Support for a Surrogate Mother and Intended Parents

Posted on: March 23rd, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

When a woman decides to become a surrogate mother, she is taking on a great responsibility and is preparing herself for a beautiful and emotional journey. If you are a surrogate mother and are feeling a little nervous about the process and think that you may need some additional support, consider using a Doula.

A Doula is trained to assist during childbirth, and will provide support to the family after the baby is born.  Ultimately, it is your choice to bring a Doula onto your journey. Many surrogate mothers do choose to use a Doula as there are excellent benefits to having one.

Doula’s Contribution to the Labor

Labor is a critical time and Doulas can offer crucial support during this moment. A Doula offers the necessary support to the surrogate mother when labor begins. She can provide support through comforting the mother as well as providing emotional support. A Doula is also responsible for facilitating communication with the care providers to ensure the mother is taken care of properly.

Additional Roles of a Doula

A Doula can play a number of different roles during the labor. This makes the process easier on the surrogate mother. The Doula will speak to the medical staff, provide pain management methods, birthing positions, and teach a number of relaxation techniques. All of this will help minimize the surrogate’s stress and will overall help create a better delivery experience.

What the Intended Parents can Gain from a Doula

Not only does the surrogate mother benefit from a Doula but so do the intended parents. Doula’s can further offer postpartum support to the intended parents, which helps their transition into parenthood. A Doula can help get the bonding process started between the intended parents and the baby. A Doula can also provide support on certain difficult matters that may arise through the transition.

 

Using a Doula is not mandatory if you are becoming a surrogate mother. Surrogacy can become an emotional rollercoaster. Therefore receiving a little extra support, attention and care is encouraged. A Doula will simply make this experience stress free for both the surrogate mother and intended parents. Make this experience a positive one, speak to Simple Surrogacy to get additional information on Doulas today!

Telling your Child about their Birth via Surrogacy

Posted on: March 21st, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Many parents find the conversation about birth and where babies come from to be an uncomfortable discussion to have with their children. This topic may be difficult to talk about at first, but telling the truth and being honest with your children is always the best solution.

If your child’s birth story involves surrogacy, the conversation can be more overwhelming. However, surrogacy is an important part of your child’s story. Many people agree that it is important to be honest with how your child was born, as surrogacy is a significant part of them.

There are many reasons to talk to your child openly and honestly about surrogacy. Here are some tips for introducing and discussing this topic with your loved one.

  • A heavy burden is placed on intended parents, as well as friends and family members to conceal the surrogacy story
  • Lying or failing to tell the truth about your child’s story can create issues of shame, guilt and distrust, as well as a negative view of surrogacy
  • Lastly, donor-conceived children risk receiving inaccurate medical information if they don’t have access to their donor’s family medical history

 

When and How to tell your Child’s Surrogacy Story

Many intended parents recognize the importance of explaining surrogacy to their child. The hard part however is how to approach the topic.

Some put off this conversation until their child is old enough to understand. However, waiting to tell them can have negative consequences. It is recommended that you talk about your surrogacy experience with your child immediately. Very young children are often the most open-minded and are able to process this information.

 

Preparing to Talk about Surrogacy

Intended parents sometimes need help to tell the story in an age-appropriate way. Start preparing to tell their story even before they are born. Gather information about the surrogacy process and your personal journey with it. Take pictures and document the process of the pregnancy. This way your child will have visuals and understand everyone that was involved in creating their life.

When your baby is born, begin telling them their story as an infant, even though they may not understand. The more practice you have telling it, the more comfortable you will be when your child is ready to really hear their story.

 

Treat this storytelling process as an ongoing conversation rather than a one- time discussion. Your child’s surrogacy story is a story that you as parents should be proud and honored to share. The more information you can give to your child the more they will understand and value their story as much as you do! If you have any questions about the surrogacy process, don’t hesitate to contact Simple Surrogacy today!

What Happens When Intended Parents Want a Known Egg Donor?

Posted on: March 16th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

With the help of egg donation, hundreds of individuals are now able to start families of their own. It takes an extraordinary and caring woman to consider giving such an enormous gift. What seemed like an impossible task is now achievable with this alternative path to parenthood.

Becoming an egg donor is not an easy decision. When women make the decision to become an egg donor, it is usually under anonymous circumstances. However, some women actually request to meet the Intended Parents. Take a look at some of the rewarding benefits of becoming a known donor:

Involvement in the Child’s Life

To start, depending on the arrangement that you have with the Intended Parents, becoming a known donor is an amazing opportunity to be involved in the child’s life. Whether through photos, videos, live chats, or in person visitations – you’ll be able to witness the child grow up and develop an unbreakable biological bond with the baby.

Develop a Relationship with the Intended Parents

Additionally, making the decision to become a known donor enables you to develop a long-lasting relationship with the Intended Parents. This relationship continues into life, beyond the pregnancy and does not end after the donation process occurs. Moreover, not only will you walk away knowing you’ve helped a couple in need, you could also potentially walk away with a life long friendship.

Learning Experience

Furthermore, before becoming a parent yourself, becoming a known egg donor enables you to learn more about the basics of parenting first hand. You’ll also get to learn more about various fertility options and you’ll have the opportunity to learn more about your own body. This is very beneficial to those women who have yet to bear their own children as it allows them to gain parenting experience without full committed responsibility.

Self –Fulfillment

Lastly, being able to witness a couple achieve their dreams of parenthood through your selfless act is an indescribable feeling. Seeing how your generosity had the ability to complete a family is a rewarding experience on its own.

Known donation is not for everybody, but it is something you should definitely keep in mind. If you are thinking about becoming an egg donor, visit Simple Donations today to see if you’re qualified and to learn about what the process entails.

What to Pack in your Hospital Bag: Your Complete Checklist

Posted on: March 14th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Whether you’re a surrogate or going through a traditional pregnancy, after nine months of carrying the baby, your next step is the delivery. This exciting part can be surreal and go by quickly, so it’s important to have all the essentials ready to go. This includes everything that you’ll need during the labor and birth, and for after the baby is born.

It is good to have a bag packed by the time you are approximately 36 weeks pregnant. Hospitals vary in their policies about what you are allowed to bring with you when you have the baby. It is recommended that you pack two bags. One for yourself and another one for the baby.

What Should be Packed for Labor?

  • Your birth plan and maternity notes
  • Dressing gown. This will be useful if you end up pacing hospital corridors in early labor. Hospitals can be warm, so pack a lightweight one
  • Slippers/socks. Believe it or not, your feet can get cold during labor
  • An old t-shirt and extra underwear
  • A birth ball. This can help you get into a comfortable position during pregnancy, labor and after the baby is born
  • Lip balm. Your lips tend to dry out quickly during labor
  • Snacks and drinks. It’s important to stay hydrated. Sport drinks are good to have during your labor
  • Hairbands. Make sure you have something to hold your hair back if you have long hair
  • Pillows. These will make the environment more personal and comfortable
  • Breast and maternity pads
  • Toiletries including: a towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, and deodorant
  • Eye mask/ear plugs or anything that will help you sleep after the birth
  • A going home outfit. Loose, comfortable clothes for your journey home and time at the hospital will be needed

What to Pack for the Baby

  • 2 or 3 sleepsuits
  • A baby blanket
  • Nappies. Your newborn will go through as many as 12 in a day
  • Socks/booties
  • An outfit for the way home. Something stretchy, comfy and soft
  • A cloth. This will come in handy for mopping up any milk that the baby might bring up
  • Baby car seat. Some hospitals won’t let you leave without one

 
As the big day approaches, you as a surrogate mother, or as an intended parent will have plenty of questions that will arise. This checklist will help guide you through your delivery and after it. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to call your surrogacy agency or doctor.

Contact us today: https://www.simplesurrogacy.com/contact-us/  

How An Agency Helps You Stay In Control of Your Surrogacy

Posted on: March 9th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Choosing an alternative path to parenthood is never an easy decision to make. With the option of surrogacy, thousands of couples and individuals are now able to achieve their dreams of starting a family. Surrogacy can be arranged either through a full-service agency or through independent surrogacy.

What is Independent Surrogacy?

Independent surrogacy, sometimes referred to as private surrogacy, is a surrogacy arrangement in which the surrogate mother and the intended parents do not use a professional surrogacy agency. Finding a surrogate mother without the help of an agency can be quite challenging. In typical independent surrogacy arrangements, the intended parents already know their surrogate and work directly with a lawyer to complete the surrogacy process.

Common Problems, Which May Arise In Independent Surrogacy

What many individuals fail to take into the consideration when pursuing independent surrogacy is the additional support that is only provided to through surrogacy agencies.

Higher Legal Fees

While the only professional needed in this process is an attorney, they often charge high hourly fees, which can lead to even enormous legal costs.

Limited Experience

Independent surrogacy can be difficult to coordinate, especially for first-timers who are unfamiliar with the surrogacy process. This can lead to many complications.

Tarnishing Relationships

Since most parties involved in an independent surrogacy arrangement already know each other, this could affect the prior relationship that the surrogate and the intended parents had. Disagreements are likely to emerge which can lead to a stressful environment during the pregnancy.

Lack of Emotional Support

Without the presence of a surrogacy agency, surrogates and intended parents miss out on the contact and counselling services. This limits both parties from obtaining the emotional support they need.

 

Why You Should Use A Surrogacy Agency

Simple Surrogacy is a full service agency. At our clinic, we’ll help safely and efficiently guide you through the surrogacy process. Take a look at how:

Guidance

At an agency, you can guarantee you’ll gain support and guidance throughout the entire process. From legal work to social support, if any issues arise, you can ensure a team of trusted professionals will help.

Legal Representation

Surrogacy and reproductive laws differ depending on the state you and the surrogate reside in and are constantly changing. With an agency, you can ensure that you will have trusted representation of your case to avoid any illegal mishaps from occurring.

Screening

Through the extensive screening process offered at a surrogacy agency, you’ll learn about the personal, medical, and criminal backgrounds of both the intended parents and the surrogate. This is to ensure the safety and future of the child.

 
If you have any additional questions or concerns regarding your path to parenthood, do not hesitate to contact us today!

Understanding The Importance of Surrogacy Contracts

Posted on: March 7th, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

The surrogacy contract is one of the most important pieces of every surrogacy process. The contract guides the entire surrogacy journey, clearly outlining each party’s rights, roles, and responsibilities before, during, and after the pregnancy.

A surrogacy contract can be overwhelming to consider and understand, but is designed to protect everyone involved equally.

Here’s a look at what the contract should include, and how to ensure that you receive a good one.

 

What Should be Included in your Surrogacy Contract?

The basic principle of the contract is to prevent conflict in the event of potential circumstances that could arise from a surrogate situation. It is critical that your contract includes:

  • Mutual agreement to number of embryos to be carried by the surrogate
  • What should happen to the baby in event of injury or death of the intended parents
  • Who will be present at the prenatal appointments and birth
  • Lifestyle choices of the surrogate, typically including an agreement to avoid alcohol, tobacco and illegal drugs during the course of the agreement
  • Financial responsibility for medical bills earned as a direct result of the pregnancy

These are just a few of the common points that should be a part of the contract. It is important to remember that your contract can, and should, be catered to you. If something is very important to you, it should be noted in the agreement.

Who to Work with?

It cannot be stressed enough how important it is to work not only with a lawyer for the drafting of your contract, but to work with a lawyer who specializes in fertility and reproductive laws. Reproductive law is managed on a state level, not a federal one, meaning the laws vary from state to state and are constantly changing. That’s why it is crucial to find a lawyer who is aware of these laws, in additional to having background in writing surrogacy contracts.

Understanding your Contract

Make sure you read over every page of your contract before signing it, and ask questions if you have any. This may be the first contract you’ve ever signed in your life. It is therefore completely normal to feel overwhelmed or intimidated by it, so asking questions is encouraged!

 
Don’t risk complicating this exciting time for you. The surrogacy contract is intended to protect both parties, and is the first step to a successful journey. Work hard on getting together a secure agreement with your lawyer or surrogacy agency.

Finding the Perfect Match with an Egg Donor

Posted on: March 2nd, 2017 by Pearl Maguire No Comments

Selecting an egg donor is one of the hardest decisions you will face. With so many factors to consider during the donor selection process, it’s important to think about what qualities mean the most to you and your partner, to ensure you find your perfect match!

 

Anonymous vs. Known Egg Donor

The first decision you need to make is whether you want an anonymous or known egg donor. A known egg donor is when a close relative or friend is the donor, or a donor chosen through an egg donor database that agrees on direct contact with you. An anonymous egg donor, is a donor found through an egg donation database who does not reveal their identity to the intended parents.

Physical Appearance

One of the most important donor considerations for many, is physical appearance. Some may want a say in their future baby’s genetic makeup, such as eye, skin and hair color, depending if they would like he/she to look similar to them or their families. If appearance is not major concern, your options will be much broader.

Medical History

Reviewing the donor’s profile is a crucial step in the process and should be evaluated carefully. Ask yourself how does the donor’s medical history combine with yours or your families? Some factors in that may make some donors more compatible than others.

Donor Personality

When looking through donor profiles try and gain a sense of the donor’s personality. Read their answers to the questions on their profile. It is recommended to choose a donor that you can relate to or feel you could be friends with.

Location of the Donor

Once the donor search has been narrowed down, location becomes an important factor. If you are on a strict budget it’s recommended to search for the more local donors first. If you have trouble finding a suitable match then begin searching on a national scale.

 

After looking through hundreds of donor profiles, it can be easy to get caught up in finding someone that fits and meets everything on your checklist. It’s important to follow your instincts and select a donor that feels right! This is an exciting time and the right match is out there.  Contact us to get started today!