Since childhood, many of us grow up with the aspirations and hopes of starting a family of our own one-day. Whether you are in an LGBTQ relationship, must face your infertility, or are taking an alternative path to parenthood – you may have a few concerns when it comes to surrogacy.
Surrogacy is a big commitment. Not only for the surrogate mother but also for the intended parents. As a surrogate mother, you are committing to carrying a child for another couple who is unable to have a child of their own. When a woman signs the agreement to become a surrogate, she is doing so with the intention of passing along the child she is carrying to another couple, after the nine month pregnancy period.
In surrogacy, just like any pregnancy, an emotional bond will be formed. Surrogates carry a baby in their womb for nine months, so it is inevitable that the surrogate mother may develop some level of attachment. From feeling the baby’s movement and witnessing its development, there is really no denying the special bond that these women share with the baby they are carrying inside of them, during this period. Especially in the case of traditional surrogacy, there is a much stronger bond with the baby since the surrogate shares a biological bond as well. However, regardless of the undeniable bond that is formed, the surrogate must always remember the whole purpose of their decision to become a surrogate – to help another couple have a family of their own.
Intended Parents’ Fear
Many intended parents may be skeptical of using surrogacy to grow their family. Many of these couples fear that the woman carrying their child for this nine-month period may change her mind and decide she no longer wants to give the baby up, and will leave and raise the child as their own.
Change of Mind
These women tend to feel a strong sense of attachment, especially after spending so much time with the baby. They may feel as if they have the right to keep the child. Going through the hardships of bearing a child for almost a year, some surrogates feel that they are actually deserving of the baby. Regardless of any biological connection, by law, a woman is technically referred to as a child’s mother if she has carried the baby since conception. There have been a few cases in which a surrogate mother has changed her mind and has made the decision to instead keep the child as her own. Although unfortunate, after sometime during the pregnancy, the surrogate mother may come to the realization that she eventually must hand over the baby to be raised by another couple. They may become overwhelmed with a wave of emotions, which can oftentimes result in anger, sadness, and confusion.
Attachment to the Family
As mentioned earlier, during the nine months of gestation, there is no doubt that the biological mother begins to bond with and becomes emotionally attached to the baby that is growing inside of her. In a surrogacy relationship, chances are that the surrogate is not the only person, other than the intended parents, who are invested in the pregnancy. The surrogate mother may be in a committed relationship, have a husband or partner, and children of her own. This means that these individuals in the lives of the surrogate are also likely to find themselves becoming emotionally attached to the baby. Although love and support are required in a surrogacy agreement, emotional attachment from family members and loved ones can also cause the enforcement of the agreement to be even more difficult and challenging to accept.
Feelings and the Law
Surrogacy is not equally enforceable in all states. This can mean that more problems can arise if the surrogate has the legal option to keep the baby. Depending where you live, this can mean that intended parents have no legal right to claim the baby as their own. Ultimately, this can complicate the decision making process, especially for a surrogate who can no longer bear the thought of giving up the child.
Relationship Between Surrogates and Intended Parents
When you enter into a surrogacy agreement, it becomes a mutual partnership. Surrogate mothers do not have to go through this experience alone. They work alongside the intended parents, and a relationship is often formed. Finally being able to hand over the baby is not only the beginning of a new extended family, it can also be the beginning of a new friendship. In many instances, intended parents choose to have a relationship with their surrogate following the pregnancy, in which they have an open line of communication. From phone calls to letters, pictures to occasional visits, depending on the status of your relationship with your surrogate this may be something you want to consider.
About Simple Surrogacy
At Simple Surrogacy, we completely understand and relate to your longing to become parents. As women, and a 95% female stuff, we can definitely relate to the journey and experience in having a baby that no man can fully understand. We understand your concerns about surrogacy from an insider’s perspective, and we want to make your experience as easy and wonderful as possible! Making the decision to resort to surrogacy can be long and difficult. We know how stressful and confusing the surrogacy process can be, and it is our goal as an agency to make the entire thing simple.
Why We Are Different
What makes Simple Surrogacy different from other agencies is the Texas Advantage. Being located in the state of Texas allows us to offer many different advantages to our clientele, with the foremost advantage being cost. Moreover, Texas laws hold that the donating party, in this case the surrogate, automatically gives up all the rights and obligations to any future created child from their genetic material, and with this there is no need for any court validation or any additional adoption procedures to occur. This means that once a child is born from surrogacy, the surrogate releases all rights and obligations as their parent and must hand over the child to the intended parents once the birth occurs.
What Happens If Your Surrogate Changes Her Mind
Unfortunately, there are rare situations in which the surrogate changes her mind before the contracts are actually signed. At Simple Surrogacy, we conduct an intense screening process to reduce the chances of this from occurring. However, if this happens to you, we will re-match you immediately at no additional charge.
How We Prevent Instances of This From Occurring
At Simple Surrogacy, in order to become a surrogate, a woman must go through a list of requirements to ensure she is fully qualified. Not only must she go through screening, a background check, and a medical review, she must also make sure she is old enough to legally enter into a contract and can fully understand the terms and conditions of the agreement. We also require surrogate prospects to have had given birth to a child of their own and that they pass a vigorous psychological screening.
Bringing a child into the world for someone else is an experience that cannot compare to anything else. It is an indescribable feeling to help others start a family. At Simple Surrogacy, we’ll help you fulfil your dreams of parenthood. If you are looking to start a family of your own through surrogacy, contact us toll-free at 1-866-41-SURRO or visit our website to learn more about surrogacy and what the process entails today!