Archive for April, 2015

ONE WOMAN’S SURROGATE JOURNEY

Posted on: April 28th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

ONE WOMAN’S SURROGATE JOURNEY

Rene and her three children. – Hoping for a successful surrogate pregnancy and safe delivery.

Rene (26) and Mark (30) had had three healthy pregnancies and delivered three healthy babies, and though they felt happy and blessed, they believed God had more for them to offer. Rene loved being pregnant, and her doctor had referred to her as a “textbook” patient. She began to feel as if God was leading her to be a surrogate mother for a husband and wife who were fertile, yet unable to bring a pregnancy to term, due to health issues.

“I watched an episode of The Little Couple, where they hired a Surrogate and I thought to myself, these are really wonderful people. A married husband and wife who love each other and would make amazing parents and don’t struggle with fertility. The only thing holding them back is her physical restrictions (i.e. size, in this case) that prevent her from being able to carry a healthy pregnancy. I thought I could totally do this for people! I carry children very well and I would love to help people like that. It was at that point that I talked to Mark about it and he told me that he would support me no matter what, he loved me, and if I felt that God had laid it on my heart, I should do some more research on it,” Rene explained.

Seeking information about surrogacy, Rene went online to research the process and eventually, after consultation with her husband and much prayer, chose to work with the Simple Surrogacy agency and Fort Worth Fertility clinic. After submitting an application and subsequent approval, Rene reviewed profiles to find “Intended Parents” who met her own criteria for acceptance.

“I began to pray very fervently for a very specific couple. God had laid it on my heart that I was looking for a married husband and wife that couldn’t have children for medical issues. Somehow I just knew that I would know who it was when I saw them.  I read through a couple of profiles before Steven and Marie’s came across my desk and immediately I told Mark, ‘I really like them. I’d like to talk to them if possible.’ Mark had read through the profiles with me and we had both agreed that based on my criteria, that they were exactly what I had been praying for…” The agency “…gave my Intended Parents my profile and gave me theirs.” Both couples agreed to meet.

“They had specific criteria they were looking for,” said Rene, “and I had what I was looking for. For them, I believe it was a stay-at-home mom. For me, it was a married husband and wife that couldn’t have children for medical reasons and refused to terminate for any reason, and I preferred them to be Christians. What stood out about Steven and Marie to me was that they fit all of my criteria. They were Christians, which was something I was really focused on…”. 

“We talked on the phone for a phone interview; I picked them; they picked me and, Voila! Here we are today,” said Rene. “I had prayed all along that if there was a reason that God felt that I was being selfish and that this was not my path to please put a stumbling block in my way and to give me the peace to understand that this was just not His will.”

Rene, Mark and their three little girls. – Courtesy PhotosBelieving God is ordering her steps, Rene is also excited about the fact that her Intended Parents are from Germany because she too, claims German roots. “…they lived in Germany, so we had that in common because I’m part German, I speak German and I went to Germany as a foreign exchange student in high school for 3 weeks and I really, really loved it there,” said Rene.

Explanation of this undertaking, that to Rene is more like a mission, has yielded a variety of responses from family and friends. “For my kids I was just very honest. I told them that Steven and Marie could not have a baby by themselves and that they needed someone to carry their baby for them and that Mommy was going to be that person; but I assured them that it was not our baby and that once the baby was born, we would not get to bring it home. My five-year-old really gets it. She knows that the medicine I take is for the baby and she asks me every morning if I’ve taken my ‘baby medicine.’ She tells all of her friends very excitedly how I’m taking these medications to help Steven and Marie have a baby. She’s very excited about it.” 

“As far as reactions from my friends and family members go, my friends have been for the most part, extremely positive. I’ve received lots of kind words from my friends and most of them seem to think it’s great. My Mom and Sister have been an incredible support system. They think what I’m doing is amazing. There have been members of my family who have expressed their dislike of what I am doing. One of my family members actually made the comment “I hope you haven’t told anyone.” Originally it really hurt my feelings. I just didn’t understand how they couldn’t understand what I was trying to do… Now their comments don’t really phase me. I wish they were more supportive, but the fact of the matter is that everyone is just not going to support everything I do and that’s ok with me, because at the end of the day I’m the one who has to live with myself, not them. As long as my husband and my children are ok with my decisions, I’m good,” said Rene.

She explained that the Intended Parents have tried unsuccessfully, more than once, to carry their own pregnancy. For Rene, this is a labor of love, literally.  “The amount of excitement I feel for them is immeasurable. They are so in love and it’s toxic. You can’t help but feel the love between them when you’re around them and I know that a child is just going to multiply that love. Over the years they have experienced heartbreak with trying to get pregnant on their own and we all feel that we were put in each other’s paths by God. I cannot wait to see them become parents and I pray to God that this process results in a successful, healthy pregnancy for them.”When asked if she and her family plan to stay in communication with the Intended Parents, Steven and Marie, and the baby, Rene answered, “Yes. Absolutely.”

After weeks of hormone therapy injections to prepare Rene to carry her Intended Parents’ previously frozen embryo, the transfer will take place May 1. The clinic will monitor her closely. Ten days after transfer Rene will go in for Beta testing to determine the HCG levels in her blood, which will reveal if she is indeed, pregnant. Provided everything goes smoothly, the surrogate mother is expected to be released to her Obstetrician’s care within a few weeks after a successful transfer.

Simple Surrogacy Co-Owner and Executive Program Director Stephanie Scott said, “I am thrilled to have Rene in our program. She is compassionate, generous, detail oriented, has a wonderful family of her own and truly cares about the life she is helping create and the lives of those she is going to bless forever. This is exactly the kind of person we hope to engage as a surrogate.”

In the 13 years Simple Surrogacy has been in business, more than 350 babies to date have been born because of their program. “For me,” said Scott, “there is no better job on the planet I could be prevailed to do. I touch lives and create them with a BIG help from the wonderful women who choose to become surrogate mothers through my program. Sometimes people need a helping hand to realize their dreams of becoming parents. That’s where I and the generous women around the country step in. For those who have never been a surrogate or been on the receiving end, it is hard to create a picture of why these women do what they do. When you are laying back waiting for your first ultrasound and your Intended Parents are holding your hand in tears waiting to find out whether or not they have a baby on the way, it does something to you. All of their hopes and dreams become your hopes and dreams for them. The vulnerability comes out and all you want to do as a surrogate is make it happen for them.”

For more information about Simple Surrogacy, visit www.simplesurrogacy.com. View their blog atwww.blog.simplesurrogacy.com.

Legal issues about Delivery for Gay Fathers in Texas

Posted on: April 21st, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Many Intended Fathers who are matched in Texas through our agency have come across the story below and become worried and concerned about their legal rights to their children after delivery in Texas. We wanted to address their concerns.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/18/jason-hanna-and-joe-riggs_n_5506720.html

 

The couple in this story did not use an Agency to guide them on their journey. They went it alone, and somehow ended up with an attorney who did not practice in North Texas, but instead had a primary practice in Houston. This attorney either had a foolish political agenda and purposely filed in Tarrant county courts to gain fame and notoriety in trying to overturn the policies there, or he was simply incompetent and made uninformed decisions about where to file his client’s legal paperwork.

 

When you hire Simple Surrogacy, we provide you with a competent attorney who understands the Texas legal landscape.   Your attorney will work in concert with the Surrogate’s attorney, to prepare and negotiate your agreement.

 

Once everyone has agreed, the agreement is signed and notarized. The next step is to establish your parentage, which can be done in a number of ways depending on your particular case. One way in which your parentage can be confirmed is through the Texas statutory validation process. The validation process results in obtaining a pre-birth order from the Court that names both intended parents as the legal parents, or the single intended parent as the sole legal parent. Whether or not a same sex couple or single intended parent can obtain an order naming them as the parent(s) of the child prior to birth depends on several factors. First, a same sex couple must be married in order to obtain an order prior to the birth naming them both as the legal parents. Second, the attorney handling your case must know the views of the Judge he or she is asking to grant the order naming you as the parents of the child. Surrogacy in general involves some areas of unsettled law; however, the attorneys who frequently work with our clients have taken the time to speak with local Judges about their views and to present their legal argument as to why they believe the laws in Texas support validation of a gestational agreement for same sex married couples and single intended parents. Many local Judges have agreed with those arguments. Even if obtaining a pre-birth order is not an option or undesirable, there are other legal avenues by which your attorney can work with you to confirm your parental rights and be found the child’s legal parent.

 

Simple Surrogacy works with experienced attorneys such as Lauren Gaydos Duffer, and our clients have always been able to obtain parentage to their Child. Please be confident that when you choose Simple Surrogacy as your Agency, we will insure that your journey to Fatherhood through the Texas court system is a smooth one.

Avoiding Costly Issues following Delivery

Posted on: April 17th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Surrogacy is not always a smooth journey, though we at Simple Surrogacy always strive to make the process as easy as possible for you. Once you reach the long awaited delivery day, many Intended Parents assume that it is smooth and easy from there – that now that they have their babies they can take them and go back to their lives. That is usually the case, but the time of delivery is fraught with emotional challenges that many Intended Parents do not know how to navigate. Handling things incorrectly can result in emotional strain and possible legal repercussions to your surrogate, to yourselves, and even to your babies.

Your Surrogate has carried your babies lovingly for 9 months. She has nurtured your children, fed them with her own body, and given up her time, freedom and health to make sure they grow into the wonderful babies that you now hold in your arms.

She is also emotionally invested in this journey, with you, to help you create your family. She longs to see your family complete, to see you hold your babies, and to hold the babies that she has helped to create.

Imagine making a special cake for someone. You lovingly mix it, put it into the oven, smell it as it is baking, hear the timer go off knowing it is ready, and remove it from the oven to cool. Now imagine that someone takes the cake away, you never see it again, you wonder, did it turn out OK? Will they like it? Will they enjoy it and appreciate all you did to bake it for them?

It is thousands of times worse when it is not a cake but a baby that the surrogate is never allowed to see again. Sometimes Intended Parents fear that letting the Surrogate hold the babies will cause her to bond with the baby and become attached to it. They worry that this would make it more difficult for them in turn to bond, but this is far from the reality. Your surrogate has already bonded with your children, in the 9 months she lovingly carried them for you. The Surrogate needs to hold your children following birth, to have closure on the long journey that you have undertaken together. She needs to hold your children, and then pass them to you, to see you hold them. She needs to see the final, wonderful completion of the journey you entered into together. Together, you have created and grown a life. This life would not be here without your surrogate, and to not allow her to share in the final joy of fruition is not only callous but also criminal.

Not allowing the Surrogate closure can also lead to costly emotional problems. Intended Parents are still obligated to pay for counseling after delivery, and in most cases, Surrogates who do not have the closure of saying goodbye to the children they grew typically need counseling. This can be a substantial expense on top of your new expenses for your children. It can also be argued that in not allowing your Surrogate closure that you are intentionally inflicting emotional distress on your Surrogate. She may have a legal case to pursue if you deprive her of that emotional closure out of fear or vindictiveness.

The simplest and also kindest route is to simply allow your surrogate time alone to say goodbye to the lives that she created for you. If you cannot find this compassion within yourself, to appreciate your Surrogate for the human being that she is, with emotions and feelings and love for your babies, then Simple Surrogacy is probably not the best agency for you, as we have seen the harm that can do and we want to protect our Clients and Surrogates and prevent it.

Crowdfunding for Surrogacy- A good idea?

Posted on: April 15th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Crowfunding is popular lately, and it is now a trend in the increasingly expensive surrogacy and infertility world. Simple Surrogacy has a couple who is currently using crowdfunding to supplement the costs of their surrogacy process. We have seen many cases where parents turn to this process to supplement their savings for the journey. It’s a controversial process at best, as these individuals are appealing to strangers to help fund their dreams of creating a family. But at Simple Surrogacy we believe that everyone who wants a family deserves to have one, which is why we offer lower fees, financing options, and will support your fund raising efforts no matter what they might be.

 

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/1080744/does-crowdfunding-for-surrogacy-and-fertility-treatment-work