Archive for June, 2016

Two of our Dads speak about Gay Surrogacy at MHB Dallas

Posted on: June 24th, 2016 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

We were proud to attend Men Having Babies Dallas this past weekend, where two different sets of our Fathers were asked to speak about their experiences. Here are Michael and Shawn Weston, who had twins through our program three years ago.

DAVID TAFFET | Senior Staff Writer

Michael Wetson and his husband Shawn had been together 10 years before they had their children.

“We waited until it was safe and reasonable,” Wetson said.

They considered adopting, but they were in their 40s and didn’t want to possibly spend years taking in fosters — and then losing them — until a child was available to adopt. So they found an agency in Dallas that connected them with an anonymous egg donor and a surrogate to carry the fetuses.

They thought of having one of their sisters as the egg donor, but Wetson said they were too old. They considered other possibilities before choosing an anonymous donor.

Once the two men decided which of them would be the biological father, they looked for a complimentary egg donor — someone with physical attributes and interests similar to those of the non-biological father. They chose a younger donor, a college student, because that increases the chances of viability on an earlier try.

*They Chose Dallas Texas Based Simple Surrogacy as their Agency*

Two fertilized eggs were implanted and the Wetsons had twins — a boy and a girl.

“One looks like one of us and one looks like the other,” Wetson said. “It’s just the way it happened.

Before the children were born, the couple decided to change their name. Michael’s was Wetter and his husband’s was Thompson. They combined them to form Wetson. Michael Wetson said changing their names so that they’d have one family name was a harder decision than whether to have children.

Although their children were born before marriage equality came to Texas, the Wetsons went to court in Dallas County and received a second-parent pre-birth order — the first issued in Dallas and possibly the first in Texas.

“We went to the hospital with a legal document saying we were the legal parents before they were born,” Michael Wetson said.

They did a DNA test ahead of the birth to prove which of them was the biological father and to prove that the surrogate mother was not related to the children.

The original birth certificate only listed the biological dad, but after the marriage equality ruling last year, the Wetsons added the second father to the document.

“Surrogacy laws are very good in Texas for married couples,” Michael Wetson said.

Michael Wetson said his children are amazing and that parenthood has “given me great appreciation for my parents.” He said he expected surrogacy to be expensive, but what’s shocked him is the cost of daycare.

He and his husband have been surprised less by an increase in expenses and more by a shift in spending. Rather than spending money on going out to dinner, they spend money on diapers and formula.

They haven’t encountered any discrimination as two dads raising twins in the suburbs, but they’ve also avoided potential problems. One pediatrician they interviewed might not be as welcoming of children with two dads so they chose another, and their list of possible preschools didn’t include any religious schools.

They’ve heard people say, “Oh, it must be mom’s day off,” when they’ve seen the men out with their children.

Michael Wetson will be featured on a panel during an all-day conference on Sunday, June 19 organized by Men Having Babies. A.J. Edge, with Men Having Babies, said the conference is designed for all men thinking of starting a family. In addition to men who have started their families through surrogacy, informational resources from 25 providers will be on hand to discuss the process and answer questions.

Among the issues they’ll explore is whether to use a known or anonymous egg donor and the advantages of each.

Cost can be the prohibitive factor for male couples who want to become fathers, but Edge said Men Having Babies encourages cost-saving best practices. There’s even an assistance program, discounts, pro bono services and cash grants available.

This article appeared in the Dallas Voice print edition June 17, 2016.

Surrogacy Benefits: What Can It Do for Your Family?

Posted on: June 13th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

Medical advancements over the course of the last three decades have been significant, with the successful completion of the first gestational surrogacy in 1985 representing one of many commendable accomplishments. In the United States alone, an estimated average of nine children per state are born through surrogacy each year. Surrogacy benefits are endless, ranging from its ability to provide an alternative for modern families to its notably high success rate.

Surrogacy provides gay and lesbian families with an alternative avenue which they can experience their dreams of parenthood. In fact, more same-sex couples are turning to gay surrogacy as the ultimate solution. Those who choose Simple Surrogacy will find that our gay surrogacy process is extremely similar to our heterosexual process. In this sense, we ensure gay and lesbian families can enjoy the benefits of surrogacy just as much as their heterosexual counterparts. However, despite our commitment to providing every client with the same standard of quality service, Simple Surrogacy is equally committed to ensuring each of them is provided with an experience which is tailored to their individual needs. Hence, gay and lesbian families can expect an environment that is warm, welcoming, and cognizant of the LGBT community’s parenting needs.

In addition to gay and lesbian couples, aspiring mothers and fathers of heterosexual relationships can easily enjoy the benefits of surrogacy as well. Various medical conditions including hormone imbalances, ovarian tumors or cysts, damage to the fallopian tubes or uterus and many more can lead to female infertility. Likewise, conditions that cause deficiencies in the semen can lead to infertility among men. In fact, infertility is a condition affecting approximately one in six couples. With a success rate that leaves most intended parents with a child of their own, surrogacy provides a viable option for couples who may suffer from infertility.

With affordable pricing and our commitment to providing consistent, quality service, surrogacy benefits are magnified with Simple Surrogacy. The Texas Advantage, which is a direct result of operating in a state which is void of state income tax, allows us to provide clients with services they need at a relatively low cost. Furthermore, clients need not fear that lower pricing will come at the expense of experiencing quality service, as our dedicated coordinators are committed to addressing any questions or concerns 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Simple Surrogacy is proud to have helped many intended parents realize the benefits of surrogacy. Call us today, and let us guide you through your journey of parenthood!

Becoming a Surrogate: The Physical Requirements

Posted on: June 9th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

Becoming a surrogate is a decision which should be considered with the utmost care. The benefits are substantial, ranging from the joy that comes with the knowledge you have helped another couple and/or individual fulfill their familial dreams to the generous compensation packages Simple Surrogacy provides. However, it is important to remain cognizant of the responsibility which comes with harboring human life. In order to ensure the safety of both the surrogate and the child, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine has laid out a number of physical requirements all surrogates must meet. While certain exceptions may be made depending on the circumstances, the guidelines provide a clear blueprint for all aspiring surrogates.

Though this may not qualify as a health requirement in the narrowest sense, all surrogates must have given birth to a child of their own without any dire complications surrounding the pregnancy and/or delivery process. The reasoning behind this requirement largely stems from the need to ensure that surrogates are familiar with the medical risks of pregnancy and childbirth, as well as the emotional issues that may arise when bonding with a newborn baby.

All surrogates must be between the ages of 21-40 (though Traditional Surrogates must be under 35), with a Body Mass Index below 33—in attempt to reduce the risk of potential complications. Additionally, as is the case with all pregnancies, surrogates must abstain from habits that are harmful to both their physical well-being and that of the child. Such habits include the consumption of alcohol and smoking (even secondhand) throughout the medical process and pregnancy period, as well as the use of illegal drugs. Surrogates must also be free of any sexually transmitted diseases that would subject either the surrogate or the child they are carrying to any physical harm.

In the interest of uncovering any issues that may arise when it is time to give the newborn child to the intended parents, aspiring surrogates must also undergo a psychological evaluation by a mental health professional to ensure that they do not have any psychiatric illnesses and/or are not currently taking any related medications. Hence, surrogates can rest assured knowing that their mental well being is afforded the same care as their physical well being.

Overall, the physical requirements for surrogates do not drastically differ from those any woman wishing to successfully complete a pregnancy should meet. While the physical guidelines indicated above provide a general outline pertaining to the main requirements aspiring surrogates must meet, they are certainly not exhaustive. Furthermore, there are a number of non-physical requirements that surrogates must consider, including their United States residency status and the successful completion of a background check. Therefore, aspiring surrogates should familiarize themselves with all legal qualifications before proceeding.

If you are interested in becoming a surrogate, Simple Surrogacy can help you determine whether or not it’s the right decision for you. Furthermore, should you wish to continue your journey with us, you will find that our warm and welcoming coordinators (each of which were previous surrogates) are capable of providing you with the necessary support and empathy you need.

What to Expect as a Single Father

Posted on: June 8th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

Being a parent is nothing less than a full-time job. Being a single parent is even more demanding, and it can be difficult raising a child without the support of a partner. It’s common to hear about single moms and their journeys in raising their children. It’s even more rare to hear of single fathers and the challenges they face every day. Not only do single fathers face the trials of single parenting, but they also experience a social stigma of incompetence; “Can he do it alone?”.

Single fathers can be made from circumstance such as divorce, and some are made by choice, such as through surrogacy. The latter is becoming more popular as men are taking the initiative to fulfill the need of raising an offspring without having to wait for the ideal partner to come along. It’s important to understand the desire to become a father is important, and the investment in this journey continues well past the process and price of adoption or surrogacy.

Single father households are on the rise, and while it is becoming more common to encounter fathers raising children on their own, there are still challenges single fathers experience. There are books upon books, and even movies like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” offering advice to new parents, but far fewer address the growing phenomenon of single fatherhood.

There are many milestones parents reach with their children as they’re growing and plenty of references of how to deal with new circumstances. Fatherhood is an increasingly realistic and enticing option, and with its progressive accessibility there are many things you can expect when raising a child as a single father.

You Will Feel Overwhelmed

No, not “may”. Will. And that’s totally okay. It’s 100 percent understandable to feel like you can’t balance work and social life. It will take practice, but more importantly, trial and error. Having a supportive community around can help you deal with the various stresses that accompany parenthood. You’ll want to provide your child with everything he or she desires, but it’s not possible. It’s okay to realize there are things not within your capabilities, but that does not make you a bad parent.

There will be an overpowering feeling that you can’t handle everything a child brings. Parents experience this for a period of time, even those in parent-duos. This feeling will subside with time when you create a routine, allowing you to achieve your full parenting capabilities, optimizing your time with your child and other responsibilities.

You May Worry You’re Not Doing a Good Job

Don’t. You are doing an amazing job. Every parenting circumstance is different and you are doing everything you can to provide a comfortable life for your child. You should be proud of everything you are doing to make your child’s life amazing and you should be proud of yourself.

Single parents often worry that they aren’t able to provide everything a two-parent household provides children. Well-raised children have come from varying households with varying circumstances. Your experience is not any less important or fulfilling as any other.

If you feel you’re not giving your child the best life experiences he or she could have, don’t be afraid to ask for reinforcement, support, or encouragement from your support system. You’ll hear tons of tips and tricks that worked for others that you can apply to yourself to feel as best you can.

You May Face Judgement or Criticism

Being a single father can sometimes come with judgement or criticism about the methods you are using to raise your child. Your process of becoming a father has been especially thought through. There is nothing spontaneous about you having become a single father and since there has been so much time invested in the opportunity, don’t let the judgement or criticism of others affect your learning experiences during fatherhood.

In a worst-case scenario, your parenthood may even be questioned by parents unfamiliar with single-fathers. Prejudices may be placed on you because of your circumstances. It will be up to you to be a modern-day Rosa Parks, paving the way for the acceptance of future single fathers.

Don’t let any critiques, parenting or personal, impair your parenting style, especially if the methods you’re using are working for you. Many parents, especially new parents, will often hear opposing opinions about different techniques while raising a child. Face naysayers with a proud demeanor. Continue with what works for you, your child, and your lifestyle. There is no proven method to raising a good person, so do what’s best according to what you’ve learned.

You’ll Be the “Everything Parent”

There is no “good cop, bad cop” scenario when you’re a single parent. You’ll have to deal with all the ups and downs on your own. You’ll have to deal with the tantrums, tears, smiles, and hugs. You’ll be frying the bacon, braiding the hair, ironing the clothes, cheering on at games, and offering sympathy at a failed test.

You will be the disciplinarian and the easy-going, let’s-have-fun parent. You will wear every single hat that parents are required to wear and your child will both love you with the full adoration a child can offer, and hate you with all the might they can muster. It will be exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. You will need to offer your child balance and in the process, you’ll learn what works best for you and your child.

It is the Hardest Job You Will Ever Love Doing

It will be challenging and lonely, but it will also be incredibly rewarding. You will establish a bond few parents experience. You will be your child’s everything and she will be your’s. You will be their superhero. You will be, always, number one.

Raising a child is one of the most difficult tasks any person can take on, and you’ve chosen to do it on your own. We commend your enthusiasm and continued success in raising your child. It is with one hundred percent certainty that your son or daughter will appreciate everything you have gone through providing them with the best life you’re capable of giving.

Being a parent will exceed your expectations. Fatherhood will come more naturally than you expect, and you will forever love hearing your child utter the word “Daddy.”

International Surrogacy – Your Dwindling Options

Posted on: June 7th, 2016 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

International Surrogacy- The dwindling options for surrogacy abroad

Gordon Lake and Manuel Valero battled a local Thai surrogate for custody over their infant daughter. (Getty)

As developing nations clamp down on the practice, hopeful parents are struggling to find women to carry their children.

By Danielle Preiss and Pragati Shahi

For the Australian couple Stephen and Michael, having kids involved people from five different countries. Australian law forbids anyone from contracting surrogates or paying women to have children for them, but Stephen and Michael knew other gay couples who’d found a workaround: In developing nations, laxer rules and bigger loopholes would allow them to hire a surrogate abroad. (Because the actions the fathers took are now considered illegal, the fathers’ names have been changed to protect their and their children’s identities.)

They’d heard that Nepal was a “safe and easy” option, and a place where surrogacy agencies from western countries with equally strict surrogacy laws had recently set up shop. So Stephen found Tammuz, an Israeli agency, which would help the couple have a child for US$35,000. The sum would cover all expenses: the agent’s fee, the cost of the medical procedures like in-vitro fertilisation, the surrogate’s medical expenses, and her take-home pay, which the Australians were told was US$10,000.

The woman who would carry their child had been working as a maid in India, according to Stephen. Like he and Michael, she and her husband, a gardener, had turned to surrogacy to improve their young family: They hoped she could earn enough to send their teenage son to engineering school.

On January 10, 2015, she came to Nepal to be impregnated with an embryo from Stephen’s sperm and a South African donor’s egg (a preference for racial similarity to parents means most eggs come from outside the region). “I was elated,” Stephen says of the moment, on August 29, when he became a father to twins, a boy and a girl. He and Michael had flown to Nepal two days earlier in preparation. But their bliss was short-lived.

The Australian couple’s twins were born in Nepal on August 29, 2015, four days before the country placed a temporary ban on surrogacy. (Courtesy of the couple)

Unbeknownst to the new parents, four days before the birth, Nepal’s Supreme Court had placed a temporary ban on surrogacy. By September 2015, as Stephen and Michael were preparing their newborns for the journey home, the government decided to outlaw the practice altogether.

The government’s decision left the newborns in a legal black hole. Their parentage wasn’t in question: DNA tests (required for exit permits to leave the country) proved Stephen was the biological father, and the babies already had their Australian citizenship and passports. But the hastily written decision to ban surrogacy didn’t include any mention of what to do about babies already born or on the way. Because the babies’ births were now considered illegal, the Department of Immigration couldn’t issue them exit permits to leave Nepal. Nobody knew what to do with them—or with the dozens of other foreign babies born into the same situation.

* * *

Thirty years after the first surrogate baby was born, courts across the world still struggle to work out the morality of childbirth transactions. In the U.S. today, surrogacy laws vary widely by state: Just a few, like California and Connecticut, allow commercial surrogacy, in which surrogates are paid to carry a child. States like Arkansas and Florida allow such arrangements, but not for same-sex couples. Other states, like New York and Washington, only allow altruistic surrogacy, meaning the surrogate can only be compensated for medical expenses. Washington, D.C., and Michigan forbid any type of surrogacy arrangements.

In Australia, paying someone to carry your child can carry a jail sentence of up to three years.

Laws are similarly non-uniform around the globe, though very few countries allow commercial surrogacy. Ukraine and Georgia do, but only for heterosexual married couples. Greek law allows only altruistic surrogacy, but permits compensation for costs and lost wages. In Israel, only heterosexual couples unable to have children can engage in surrogacy, but the surrogate must be unmarried, already have a child of her own, and practice the same religion as the parents (among other restrictions). In Australia, which does permit altruistic surrogacy, paying someone to carry your child can carry a jail sentence of up to three years.

These restrictions, plus the prohibitively enormous cost of surrogacy in the U.S. (between US$50,000 and US$100,000), push many of the world’s hopeful parents down Stephen and Michael’s path to developing countries with less defined laws. Thailand used to serve a large portion of the international market, but the Thai government criminalised surrogacy by foreigners and same-sex couples in 2014, prompted by incidents of surrogate parents behaving badly. The most notable of those cases was that of Baby Gammy, a twin born with Down syndrome and left behind by the Australians who contracted his birth (his sister, who wasn’t born with the disorder, was taken home). It didn’t help that Gammy’s biological father was also a convicted sex offender.

India was the other legal surrogacy behemoth, where gestational dormitories housed groups of pregnant Indian women as their bellies swelled. But the industry lost a chunk of its market when the country banned surrogacyfor gay couples and single parents in 2013 (around the same time India recriminalised gay sex). Recent revisions to the law have effectively banned foreigners altogether.

As India’s laws tightened, clinics there quietly began sending the Indian mothers to Nepal to give birth; many eventually shifted their entire operations over. The two countries share an open border, allowing citizens of either country to cross without registration. No laws existed on surrogacy in Nepal, so there were seemingly none to break.

* * *

Nepal’s underground surrogacy operations came to international light after the earthquake last April, whennews reports detailed the evacuation of western babies born to surrogates. El Al flights swooped in to save Israeli babies, and got a lot of flak for leaving the surrogate mothers behind. But Nepali officials had known about the growing market since the previous November. After police began questioning groups of Indian women outside a hospital in Kathmandu, Nepal’s capital, a nearby clinic where many of the surrogacy procedures were also taking place convinced an official at the Ministry of Health and Population to write a letter supporting surrogacy and Nepal’s prospects for medical tourism.

The average daily wage in Nepal hovers around $2. A surrogate typically makes around US$3,500.

The letter, which stipulated that only foreign women be surrogates, was legally meaningless, but it was enough for clinics to assure hopeful parents that Nepal was the new surrogacy destination. It also spurred the Nepali Cabinet to start seriously considering what to do. In the aftermath of the earthquake, the Ministry worried Nepal was too overwhelmed trying to handle its own citizens’ basic healthcare to provide medical tourism. By September 2015, surrogacy was outlawed and all earlier services were considered illegal, including the birth of Stephen and Michael’s twins.

Two months after their birth, Nepal finally made a provision to allow the twins (and any other surrogate baby conceived before the practice was outlawed) to go home.

Sam Everingham, the executive director of the Australian advocacy group Families Through Surrogacy, calls parents like Stephen and Michael “reproductive refugees,” boxed out of reproductive rights in their own countries, and chasing them through others. “Already we’ve seen a lot of those agencies that are in Nepal shift over to Cambodia,” Everingham said in October. With similarly murky legislation, Cambodian officials say they remain undecided on whether surrogacy constitutes human trafficking. Everingham believes it’s only a matter of time before Cambodia officially outlaws the practice for foreigners. “It’s a constant chase,” he says.

* * *

Critics of surrogacy point to exploitation of poor people and the commodification of women’s bodies, issues that are magnified when couples from wealthy nations can order babies from some of the poorest places on the planet. The average daily wage in Nepal hovers around $2. A surrogate typically makes around US$3,500, and an additional US$1,500 if she has to have a C-section. She might get around US$1,000 in tips from the intended parents too. It’s not a huge sum, but it goes far in Nepal or India.

Hannah Giunta, a bioethicist in perinatal and neonatal medicine at Michigan State University, worries transnational arrangements allow people to view surrogacy as payment for a service or product. Giunta points to the lack of a relationship between many surrogates and families as a key concern. “People get hung up on the genetics,” she says, “but the truth is the person who carries your child for nine months, you should have more than a passing interest in them.”