Archive for the ‘Simple Surrogacy’ Category

What to Expect as a Single Father

Posted on: June 8th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

Being a parent is nothing less than a full-time job. Being a single parent is even more demanding, and it can be difficult raising a child without the support of a partner. It’s common to hear about single moms and their journeys in raising their children. It’s even more rare to hear of single fathers and the challenges they face every day. Not only do single fathers face the trials of single parenting, but they also experience a social stigma of incompetence; “Can he do it alone?”.

Single fathers can be made from circumstance such as divorce, and some are made by choice, such as through surrogacy. The latter is becoming more popular as men are taking the initiative to fulfill the need of raising an offspring without having to wait for the ideal partner to come along. It’s important to understand the desire to become a father is important, and the investment in this journey continues well past the process and price of adoption or surrogacy.

single father

Single father households are on the rise, and while it is becoming more common to encounter fathers raising children on their own, there are still challenges single fathers experience. There are books upon books, and even movies like “What to Expect When You’re Expecting,” offering advice to new parents, but far fewer address the growing phenomenon of single fatherhood.

There are many milestones parents reach with their children as they’re growing and plenty of references of how to deal with new circumstances. Fatherhood is an increasingly realistic and enticing option, and with its progressive accessibility there are many things you can expect when raising a child as a single father.

You Will Feel Overwhelmed

No, not “may”. Will. And that’s totally okay. It’s 100 percent understandable to feel like you can’t balance work and social life. It will take practice, but more importantly, trial and error. Having a supportive community around can help you deal with the various stresses that accompany parenthood. You’ll want to provide your child with everything he or she desires, but it’s not possible. It’s okay to realize there are things not within your capabilities, but that does not make you a bad parent.

There will be an overpowering feeling that you can’t handle everything a child brings. Parents experience this for a period of time, even those in parent-duos. This feeling will subside with time when you create a routine, allowing you to achieve your full parenting capabilities, optimizing your time with your child and other responsibilities.

You May Worry You’re Not Doing a Good Job

Don’t. You are doing an amazing job. Every parenting circumstance is different and you are doing everything you can to provide a comfortable life for your child. You should be proud of everything you are doing to make your child’s life amazing and you should be proud of yourself.

Single parents often worry that they aren’t able to provide everything a two-parent household provides children. Well-raised children have come from varying households with varying circumstances. Your experience is not any less important or fulfilling as any other.

If you feel you’re not giving your child the best life experiences he or she could have, don’t be afraid to ask for reinforcement, support, or encouragement from your support system. You’ll hear tons of tips and tricks that worked for others that you can apply to yourself to feel as best you can.

You May Face Judgement or Criticism

Being a single father can sometimes come with judgement or criticism about the methods you are using to raise your child. Your process of becoming a father has been especially thought through. There is nothing spontaneous about you having become a single father and since there has been so much time invested in the opportunity, don’t let the judgement or criticism of others affect your learning experiences during fatherhood.

In a worst-case scenario, your parenthood may even be questioned by parents unfamiliar with single-fathers. Prejudices may be placed on you because of your circumstances. It will be up to you to be a modern-day Rosa Parks, paving the way for the acceptance of future single fathers.

Don’t let any critiques, parenting or personal, impair your parenting style, especially if the methods you’re using are working for you. Many parents, especially new parents, will often hear opposing opinions about different techniques while raising a child. Face naysayers with a proud demeanor. Continue with what works for you, your child, and your lifestyle. There is no proven method to raising a good person, so do what’s best according to what you’ve learned.

You’ll Be the “Everything Parent”

There is no “good cop, bad cop” scenario when you’re a single parent. You’ll have to deal with all the ups and downs on your own. You’ll have to deal with the tantrums, tears, smiles, and hugs. You’ll be frying the bacon, braiding the hair, ironing the clothes, cheering on at games, and offering sympathy at a failed test.

You will be the disciplinarian and the easy-going, let’s-have-fun parent. You will wear every single hat that parents are required to wear and your child will both love you with the full adoration a child can offer, and hate you with all the might they can muster. It will be exhausting and rewarding all at the same time. You will need to offer your child balance and in the process, you’ll learn what works best for you and your child.

It is the Hardest Job You Will Ever Love Doing

It will be challenging and lonely, but it will also be incredibly rewarding. You will establish a bond few parents experience. You will be your child’s everything and she will be your’s. You will be their superhero. You will be, always, number one.

Raising a child is one of the most difficult tasks any person can take on, and you’ve chosen to do it on your own. We commend your enthusiasm and continued success in raising your child. It is with one hundred percent certainty that your son or daughter will appreciate everything you have gone through providing them with the best life you’re capable of giving.

Being a parent will exceed your expectations. Fatherhood will come more naturally than you expect, and you will forever love hearing your child utter the word “Daddy.”

Gay Surrogacy – Simple Surrogacy

Posted on: April 24th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

In today’s day and age, many more gay and lesbian couples are deciding to have children through surrogacy and egg donation, making gay surrogacy one of the more often-used options offered by Simple Surrogacy.

At Simple Surrogacy, our mission is to create families for those who need some help in making their familial dreams come true and for those choosing gay surrogacy, they will be pleased to know that it is very similar to the process for heterosexual families.

Simple Surrogacy’s program for gay surrogacy maintains the highest standards and practices in the industry while still providing top-notch personalized attention for each and every case.

The United States is the only global destination which allows same-sex couples to participate in commercial surrogacy. Although there are still some US states that explicitly ban surrogacy contracts, most states are “surrogacy-friendly”, supporting said contracts and automatically name the signers as the legal parents. Yet, while North America and Europe have become increasingly progressive on the subject, there are still cultures in the world who are not tolerant of same-sex relationships and, for that matter, gay surrogacy. In India, for example, guidelines have been issued that have made it impossible for same-sex parents to perform surrogacy. Regardless of the situation, though, you can be sure that you will be in good hands with Simple Surrogacy.

As members of RESOLVE (The National Infertility Association) and the American Fertility Association, we at Simple Surrogacy follow all guidelines of the Surrogacy and Reproductive Medicine community. Whether you have questions, concerns or simply need someone to lean on, our team of dedicated coordinators are available for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week which includes a direct number to your coordinator. But in the event that your coordinator is unavailable, whether on vacation, an emergency or sickness, we will promptly provide you with alternate contact information.

Our staff are experienced in the creation of families through gay surrogacy and egg donation. We have turned countless happy couples into thrilled, proud parents and can do the same for you. So, contact us today and let us make your dreams of starting a family come true.

gay surrogacy

We Offer the Highest Standards for Surrogacy at an Affordable Price

Posted on: April 7th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

surrogacy at an affordable price

Founded in 2002, Simple Surrogacy was formed on one simple principle: to provide their clients with the highest standard of care in the surrogacy and egg donation industry at an affordable price. For those individuals and couples who wish to start a family through third party assisted reproduction, Simple Surrogacy is here to help.

For many of those who choose surrogacy, it may not be the first option, but it turns out to be the best option. For those seriously considering surrogacy, then Simple Surrogacy is the way to go.

Simple Surrogacy’s team of professionals consists of parents through surrogacy, current and former surrogate mothers and egg donors and counselors. Simple Surrogacy has also worked with both Domestic and International Intended Parents to help the path of couples and individuals looking to become parents through surrogacy and/or egg donation that much smoother.

Approximately 35 percent of couples who choose surrogacy have done so after either considering or attempting adoption (Ragoné 1994). However, for the majority of those who have chosen surrogacy, they have found that the adoption process is an arduous one plagued with problems which has left them without a suitable child in most cases (Ragoné 2000). In 1983, for example, 50,000 adoptions were completed in the United States. However, an estimated two million couples were still seeking to adopt (Office of Technology Assessment 1988).

There are several reasons as to why a woman might decide to use a surrogate. She either may have medical problems with her uterus, had it removed via hysterectomy or has a condition, such as severe heart disease, which would make pregnancy either impossible or medically risky. Age, marital status and sexual orientation may also be barriers but through a surrogate, parenthood becomes a viable option.

With Surrogate Mothers through the United States and Canada, Simple Surrogacy matches and facilitates traditional and gestational surrogacy and egg donation arrangements.

From traditional and gay or lesbian couples to singles, Simple Surrogacy works with those of all races, religions and ethnic backgrounds to help complete the journey to starting a family. Simple Surrogacy is highly regarded in the surrogacy and egg donation community and are members of Resolve (The National Infertility Association), the American Fertility Association and the Better Business Bureau.

One of the few downsides to surrogacy is the outrageous cost. Simple Surrogacy is here to address that, to offer their clients significantly reduced fees along with an insider’s knowledge and expertise to give those involved – the Intended Parent(s), Surrogate, Egg Donor – peace of mind every step of the way along their journey.

This is Simple Surrogacy.

 

How to Talk About Surrogacy With Your Family

Posted on: March 15th, 2016 by Robin Corral No Comments

Choosing to become a surrogate is a huge decision. It takes time to decide you are comfortable with the idea of being a surrogate individually, let alone introducing the idea to your family members and close friends. This discussion for some is not an easy one to have.

The best way to think about it, is that you want to educate your friends and family on the process of surrogacy. Because it can be an overwhelming word for some, they may not understand it the way you do. This is where you can begin your approach.

When Should You Tell Them?

If you are nervous about bringing up the topic of becoming a surrogate, you want to make sure you are one hundred percent going to do it. You have made a decision, and you plan on going through with it. You need to be completely confident with your choice before you discuss it with others.

Make Sure You Have Done Some Research

Your family and friends are probably going to have a lot of questions about your decision and surrogacy. To make them feel comfortable, you will need to show them that you understand surrogacy fully. Do as much research as possible and learn about it, more than you already do. This will allow you to answer their tough questions, and show them you understand it.

Listen

They may have opposing views to surrogacy, or say something that goes against your decision. It is important that you listen to what they are saying and understand their point of view. You need them to understand you, so show them that you understand them. Listen to them first, and then discuss.

Resist Argument

If your decision is opposed, it is important that you do your best and resist the urge to be angry or upset with them. Take a deep breath and remember that getting angry with them will only elevate the conversation and take it in a completely different direction. Resist the urge to argue, and keep your composure.

Surrogacy is a big decision, whether you knew you wanted to be one right away, or it took you some time to warm up to the idea, discussing it with your family and close friends is never easy. Especially if you are unsure how they will feel about the idea. Remember to take charge of the conversation, but listen to what your family and friends have to say as well. You need to educate them on surrogacy, and get them comfortable with the idea.

how to talk about surrogacy with your family

Surrogacy Still a struggle for some Gay parents

Posted on: June 23rd, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Simple Surrogacy sees the facts and hears the horror stories every day for Intended Fathers who have tried other routes to surrogacy and been unsuccessful. It’s hard to see so many who just want to be parents struggle through the costs, difficulties and confusion surrounding surrogacy, both domestically and internationally. When Intended parents come to Simple Surrogacy, we try to educate them about their choices and options in a non biased way, while still presenting our program in a neutral light so that Parents can make a informed decision based on all the necessary facts and figures. Not everyone is as lucky as the Parents in the story below, who had a sister willing to carry for them in a surrogacy friendly state, but we hope that every match with Simple Surrogacy will feel like family when you match through us!  We are looking forward to helping many more Intended Parents through the confusing world of Surrogacy with our family friendly approach and competitive pricing. Call us today!

Gay dads turn to ‘hero’ sister in surrogacy struggle

Canadian laws make surrogacy especially difficult for gay male couples

By The Early Edition, CBC News Posted: Jun 17, 2015 4:12 PM PT Last Updated: Jun 18, 2015 2:48 PM PT

Craig Parkes (right) and Matthew Hinton were able to have their son, Fitzgerald, thanks to Matt's sister Laura agreeing to act as a surrogate.

Craig Parkes (right) and Matthew Hinton were able to have their son, Fitzgerald, thanks to Matt’s sister Laura agreeing to act as a surrogate. (CBC)

This Father’s Day, Craig Parkes and Matthew Hinton will have a new reason to celebrate family. Their son, Fitzgerald, was born earlier this year, and although he’s been more than a welcome addition, the road to his birth was anything but easy.

“It’s been a lengthy progress,” says Hinton. The couple originally attempted insemination with a surrogate in India, but without success. On top of that, while he was there, the country shut down surrogacy for gay parents.

The solution eventually arrived through a familiar face. Hinton’s sister Laura volunteered to be a surrogate for the couple. Although that solved the issue of who would carry the baby, they still required an egg donor, which was unavailable in Canada.

“We ended up having to go through an agency and actually compensate an egg donor, which you can’t do in Canada. So because Laura lives in South Carolina, it actually worked out for us,” says Hinton.

Since the birth of their son, Parkes and Hinton were approached by Tylenol to star in its newest commercial. Parkes says it was an opportunity to destigmatize gay couples having children. “I think the more people see regular couples with babies — whether they’re gay or straight — the more comfortable they are around it. I don’t think we set out to make a point or to change people’s minds, but looking back, it’s kind of inevitable that that’s a role we’re falling into.”

Unique challenge for gay parents

The entire process made clear to Hinton the difficulty for gay couples of trying to start a family.

He says there were few options available to them because many countries do not allow two male partners to adopt a baby. On top of that, Canadian laws add to the complication of using surrogacy.

“The issue for us is that there’s a ban in Canada on paying a surrogate. You can reimburse her, but you don’t know where that line is. You also can’t pay a woman to donate an egg to you. Realistically, for a gay couple you need have both,” he says.

The Vancouver couple refer to Laura as a hero for allowing them to start their own family. Laura says the decision came easy for her.

“Family is so important. It was a way to help a family member and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”


Thank you, New York!

Posted on: May 20th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Simple Surrogacy had a great time at the Family Building Expo in New York. It was a pleasure to meet so many of our clients again and see how big their babies have grown. We also enjoyed meeting so many potential clients, and we look forward to helping many of you become parents soon!

 

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ONE WOMAN’S SURROGATE JOURNEY

Posted on: April 28th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

ONE WOMAN’S SURROGATE JOURNEY

Rene and her three children. – Hoping for a successful surrogate pregnancy and safe delivery.

Rene (26) and Mark (30) had had three healthy pregnancies and delivered three healthy babies, and though they felt happy and blessed, they believed God had more for them to offer. Rene loved being pregnant, and her doctor had referred to her as a “textbook” patient. She began to feel as if God was leading her to be a surrogate mother for a husband and wife who were fertile, yet unable to bring a pregnancy to term, due to health issues.

“I watched an episode of The Little Couple, where they hired a Surrogate and I thought to myself, these are really wonderful people. A married husband and wife who love each other and would make amazing parents and don’t struggle with fertility. The only thing holding them back is her physical restrictions (i.e. size, in this case) that prevent her from being able to carry a healthy pregnancy. I thought I could totally do this for people! I carry children very well and I would love to help people like that. It was at that point that I talked to Mark about it and he told me that he would support me no matter what, he loved me, and if I felt that God had laid it on my heart, I should do some more research on it,” Rene explained.

Seeking information about surrogacy, Rene went online to research the process and eventually, after consultation with her husband and much prayer, chose to work with the Simple Surrogacy agency and Fort Worth Fertility clinic. After submitting an application and subsequent approval, Rene reviewed profiles to find “Intended Parents” who met her own criteria for acceptance.

“I began to pray very fervently for a very specific couple. God had laid it on my heart that I was looking for a married husband and wife that couldn’t have children for medical issues. Somehow I just knew that I would know who it was when I saw them.  I read through a couple of profiles before Steven and Marie’s came across my desk and immediately I told Mark, ‘I really like them. I’d like to talk to them if possible.’ Mark had read through the profiles with me and we had both agreed that based on my criteria, that they were exactly what I had been praying for…” The agency “…gave my Intended Parents my profile and gave me theirs.” Both couples agreed to meet.

“They had specific criteria they were looking for,” said Rene, “and I had what I was looking for. For them, I believe it was a stay-at-home mom. For me, it was a married husband and wife that couldn’t have children for medical reasons and refused to terminate for any reason, and I preferred them to be Christians. What stood out about Steven and Marie to me was that they fit all of my criteria. They were Christians, which was something I was really focused on…”. 

“We talked on the phone for a phone interview; I picked them; they picked me and, Voila! Here we are today,” said Rene. “I had prayed all along that if there was a reason that God felt that I was being selfish and that this was not my path to please put a stumbling block in my way and to give me the peace to understand that this was just not His will.”

Rene, Mark and their three little girls. – Courtesy PhotosBelieving God is ordering her steps, Rene is also excited about the fact that her Intended Parents are from Germany because she too, claims German roots. “…they lived in Germany, so we had that in common because I’m part German, I speak German and I went to Germany as a foreign exchange student in high school for 3 weeks and I really, really loved it there,” said Rene.

Explanation of this undertaking, that to Rene is more like a mission, has yielded a variety of responses from family and friends. “For my kids I was just very honest. I told them that Steven and Marie could not have a baby by themselves and that they needed someone to carry their baby for them and that Mommy was going to be that person; but I assured them that it was not our baby and that once the baby was born, we would not get to bring it home. My five-year-old really gets it. She knows that the medicine I take is for the baby and she asks me every morning if I’ve taken my ‘baby medicine.’ She tells all of her friends very excitedly how I’m taking these medications to help Steven and Marie have a baby. She’s very excited about it.” 

“As far as reactions from my friends and family members go, my friends have been for the most part, extremely positive. I’ve received lots of kind words from my friends and most of them seem to think it’s great. My Mom and Sister have been an incredible support system. They think what I’m doing is amazing. There have been members of my family who have expressed their dislike of what I am doing. One of my family members actually made the comment “I hope you haven’t told anyone.” Originally it really hurt my feelings. I just didn’t understand how they couldn’t understand what I was trying to do… Now their comments don’t really phase me. I wish they were more supportive, but the fact of the matter is that everyone is just not going to support everything I do and that’s ok with me, because at the end of the day I’m the one who has to live with myself, not them. As long as my husband and my children are ok with my decisions, I’m good,” said Rene.

She explained that the Intended Parents have tried unsuccessfully, more than once, to carry their own pregnancy. For Rene, this is a labor of love, literally.  “The amount of excitement I feel for them is immeasurable. They are so in love and it’s toxic. You can’t help but feel the love between them when you’re around them and I know that a child is just going to multiply that love. Over the years they have experienced heartbreak with trying to get pregnant on their own and we all feel that we were put in each other’s paths by God. I cannot wait to see them become parents and I pray to God that this process results in a successful, healthy pregnancy for them.”When asked if she and her family plan to stay in communication with the Intended Parents, Steven and Marie, and the baby, Rene answered, “Yes. Absolutely.”

After weeks of hormone therapy injections to prepare Rene to carry her Intended Parents’ previously frozen embryo, the transfer will take place May 1. The clinic will monitor her closely. Ten days after transfer Rene will go in for Beta testing to determine the HCG levels in her blood, which will reveal if she is indeed, pregnant. Provided everything goes smoothly, the surrogate mother is expected to be released to her Obstetrician’s care within a few weeks after a successful transfer.

Simple Surrogacy Co-Owner and Executive Program Director Stephanie Scott said, “I am thrilled to have Rene in our program. She is compassionate, generous, detail oriented, has a wonderful family of her own and truly cares about the life she is helping create and the lives of those she is going to bless forever. This is exactly the kind of person we hope to engage as a surrogate.”

In the 13 years Simple Surrogacy has been in business, more than 350 babies to date have been born because of their program. “For me,” said Scott, “there is no better job on the planet I could be prevailed to do. I touch lives and create them with a BIG help from the wonderful women who choose to become surrogate mothers through my program. Sometimes people need a helping hand to realize their dreams of becoming parents. That’s where I and the generous women around the country step in. For those who have never been a surrogate or been on the receiving end, it is hard to create a picture of why these women do what they do. When you are laying back waiting for your first ultrasound and your Intended Parents are holding your hand in tears waiting to find out whether or not they have a baby on the way, it does something to you. All of their hopes and dreams become your hopes and dreams for them. The vulnerability comes out and all you want to do as a surrogate is make it happen for them.”

For more information about Simple Surrogacy, visit www.simplesurrogacy.com. View their blog atwww.blog.simplesurrogacy.com.

Legal issues about Delivery for Gay Fathers in Texas

Posted on: April 21st, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Many Intended Fathers who are matched in Texas through our agency have come across the story below and become worried and concerned about their legal rights to their children after delivery in Texas. We wanted to address their concerns.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/18/jason-hanna-and-joe-riggs_n_5506720.html

 

The couple in this story did not use an Agency to guide them on their journey. They went it alone, and somehow ended up with an attorney who did not practice in North Texas, but instead had a primary practice in Houston. This attorney either had a foolish political agenda and purposely filed in Tarrant county courts to gain fame and notoriety in trying to overturn the policies there, or he was simply incompetent and made uninformed decisions about where to file his client’s legal paperwork.

 

When you hire Simple Surrogacy, we provide you with a competent attorney who understands the Texas legal landscape.   Your attorney will work in concert with the Surrogate’s attorney, to prepare and negotiate your agreement.

 

Once everyone has agreed, the agreement is signed and notarized. The next step is to establish your parentage, which can be done in a number of ways depending on your particular case. One way in which your parentage can be confirmed is through the Texas statutory validation process. The validation process results in obtaining a pre-birth order from the Court that names both intended parents as the legal parents, or the single intended parent as the sole legal parent. Whether or not a same sex couple or single intended parent can obtain an order naming them as the parent(s) of the child prior to birth depends on several factors. First, a same sex couple must be married in order to obtain an order prior to the birth naming them both as the legal parents. Second, the attorney handling your case must know the views of the Judge he or she is asking to grant the order naming you as the parents of the child. Surrogacy in general involves some areas of unsettled law; however, the attorneys who frequently work with our clients have taken the time to speak with local Judges about their views and to present their legal argument as to why they believe the laws in Texas support validation of a gestational agreement for same sex married couples and single intended parents. Many local Judges have agreed with those arguments. Even if obtaining a pre-birth order is not an option or undesirable, there are other legal avenues by which your attorney can work with you to confirm your parental rights and be found the child’s legal parent.

 

Simple Surrogacy works with experienced attorneys such as Lauren Gaydos Duffer, and our clients have always been able to obtain parentage to their Child. Please be confident that when you choose Simple Surrogacy as your Agency, we will insure that your journey to Fatherhood through the Texas court system is a smooth one.

Avoiding Costly Issues following Delivery

Posted on: April 17th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

Surrogacy is not always a smooth journey, though we at Simple Surrogacy always strive to make the process as easy as possible for you. Once you reach the long awaited delivery day, many Intended Parents assume that it is smooth and easy from there – that now that they have their babies they can take them and go back to their lives. That is usually the case, but the time of delivery is fraught with emotional challenges that many Intended Parents do not know how to navigate. Handling things incorrectly can result in emotional strain and possible legal repercussions to your surrogate, to yourselves, and even to your babies.

Your Surrogate has carried your babies lovingly for 9 months. She has nurtured your children, fed them with her own body, and given up her time, freedom and health to make sure they grow into the wonderful babies that you now hold in your arms.

She is also emotionally invested in this journey, with you, to help you create your family. She longs to see your family complete, to see you hold your babies, and to hold the babies that she has helped to create.

Imagine making a special cake for someone. You lovingly mix it, put it into the oven, smell it as it is baking, hear the timer go off knowing it is ready, and remove it from the oven to cool. Now imagine that someone takes the cake away, you never see it again, you wonder, did it turn out OK? Will they like it? Will they enjoy it and appreciate all you did to bake it for them?

It is thousands of times worse when it is not a cake but a baby that the surrogate is never allowed to see again. Sometimes Intended Parents fear that letting the Surrogate hold the babies will cause her to bond with the baby and become attached to it. They worry that this would make it more difficult for them in turn to bond, but this is far from the reality. Your surrogate has already bonded with your children, in the 9 months she lovingly carried them for you. The Surrogate needs to hold your children following birth, to have closure on the long journey that you have undertaken together. She needs to hold your children, and then pass them to you, to see you hold them. She needs to see the final, wonderful completion of the journey you entered into together. Together, you have created and grown a life. This life would not be here without your surrogate, and to not allow her to share in the final joy of fruition is not only callous but also criminal.

Not allowing the Surrogate closure can also lead to costly emotional problems. Intended Parents are still obligated to pay for counseling after delivery, and in most cases, Surrogates who do not have the closure of saying goodbye to the children they grew typically need counseling. This can be a substantial expense on top of your new expenses for your children. It can also be argued that in not allowing your Surrogate closure that you are intentionally inflicting emotional distress on your Surrogate. She may have a legal case to pursue if you deprive her of that emotional closure out of fear or vindictiveness.

The simplest and also kindest route is to simply allow your surrogate time alone to say goodbye to the lives that she created for you. If you cannot find this compassion within yourself, to appreciate your Surrogate for the human being that she is, with emotions and feelings and love for your babies, then Simple Surrogacy is probably not the best agency for you, as we have seen the harm that can do and we want to protect our Clients and Surrogates and prevent it.

Bachelors turn to surrogates when biological clocks tick

Posted on: March 24th, 2015 by Simple Surrogacy No Comments

A new story on the Today show highlights a phenomenon that we’ve been aware of for a while now, that is single men turning to surrogacy when they are ready. Stephanie Scott, one of our founders, is mentioned in this story!

 

Dr. Conrad Cean was nearing 40 when he felt his biological clock ticking — with no special someone to help him start a family. So he did something that’s only recently become an option for single men: He turned to IVF and a surrogate halfway around the world to make a family of his own.

The 43-year-old pain specialist from New York City is now the proud, single father of 18-month-old twins, Konrad Fritz II and Kennedy-Josephine Marie. And he’s considering adding to his brood.

“I grew up in a very close family with two sisters, parents in Queens and cousins,” he told TODAY. “We’ve always been a tight family and I always wanted children.”

Cean’s surrogate family takes on special poignancy in the wake of the blowup between British singer Elton John and the fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana after the founders recently championed “traditional” families andcriticized fertility treatments in a magazine article.

Dr. Conrad Cean and his twins, Konrad Fritz II and Kennedy-Josephine

Courtesy of Dr. Conrad Cean/Alex Kaplan Photo
Dr. Conrad Cean and his twins, Konrad Fritz II and Kennedy-Josephine.

Although no one keeps track, plenty of bachelors are intentionally having babies, though perhaps not “in the millions,” said Dr. Philip Werthman, director of the Center for Male Reproductive Medicine and Vasectomy Reversal in Los Angeles, who helps men optimize their sperm for IVF.

“The desire to be a parent is similar, whether you are gay, straight, in a relationship or not,” he said. “For these men, they are getting older, they have the resources and the love to give and they want to go ahead. Technology gives them the ability to have children outside traditional means.”

Cean said he planned to marry by 33 or 34, but his busy schedule interfered with finding the right woman.

“I had just finished my fellowship and was trying to get the lay of the land in the business of medicine,” said Cean. “I thought I would meet the right person, but I didn’t want to force anything.”

After two failed embryo transplantations in India in 2012, Cean went to Panama where for about two-thirds the cost of surrogacy in the United States, his twins were born on Aug. 30, 2013.

“I was ecstatic,” said Cean, who used his own sperm and is biologically related to the twins. “It’s other worldly, worth a thousand bucks, a million bucks. It’s hard to put into words.”

Stephanie Scott, executive director of Simple Surrogacy in Dallas, says she sees men like Cean “all the time.”

The Cean twins.

Courtesy of Dr. Conrad Cean / Alex Kaplan Photo
The Cean twins.

“Some of them have been focused on their careers for so long, they never got married,” she told TODAY. “A lot are afraid they have missed their opportunity and don’t want to wait and hope they’ll find the right woman.”

In gestational surrogacy, a woman is implanted with an embryo through in vitro fertilization using a donor egg and sperm. The baby is not genetically related to the surrogate mother.

In the United States, a man could spend up to $150,000 for all the medical costs, including $10,000 for an egg donor and $25,000 for the surrogate mother.

Scott arranged for Peter Gordon, a 48-year-old middle school teacher from Brimmer and May in Massachusetts, to have his twins with the help of a surrogate. His twins, 3-year-olds Noah and Olivia, were born in St. Louis.

Peter Gordon with his twins Noah and Olivia

Courtesy of Peter Gordon
Peter Gordon with his twins Noah and Olivia

“It’s funny,” he told TODAY. “I always said when I was in my 20s I would find the woman of my dreams and be married. But in my 30s I was at a junior boarding school and didn’t pay much attention to relationships. All of a sudden, I was in my 40s.”

Gordon said he made a “pact” with himself. If he reached 44 and was not married, he would look into an “alternative way” to have a family. The summer he turned 44, a relationship dissolved and he began to look into surrogacy, a lengthy project that, in the end, cost him $90,000.

“I had to qualify for loans and lines of credit,” he said. “I vetted agencies. I was meeting surrogates and getting an egg donor. It was all a blur. … Still, I was determined.”

The surrogate he chose was 23 and single, but had a child. “She made a decision she wanted to help others,” he said.

Gordon was in the delivery room at the full-term birth. The twins had a baby nurse and now a nanny, and he makes sure there are plenty of female influences in their lives.

“Oh my gosh,” he said. “It was the most unbelievable dream come true. It’s one of the hardest things I have ever done, but a lot of it is instinct. … From the minute they were born, they were in my arms and have been there ever since.”

Gordon says he still dates, when he can, but caring for twins is “tiring.”

“I still think it will happen,” he said of finding a wife. “And it would be great to share this with someone. … But that void I used to feel when I worked at boarding schools is no longer there, because my life is filled with my kids.”

As for Cean, he said that he, too, would still be open to marriage.

“I am definitely still looking,” he said. “My two biggest things are finding someone genuine and sweet with a kooky sense of humor. Someone offbeat.”

But his weekend family life is also full and rewarding: a Saturday gymboree class, naps and bottles, an afternoon walk in the park or drive out to Queens to see his parents, sister and cousins.

“My family was skeptical at first — obviously they would be,” said Cean. “But I have absolutely have no regrets.

“Hey, gay guys do it all the time. I told myself I was the straight half of a gay couple.”